Dear Contributors, Readers and Subscribers,
Adoption Voices Magazine is designed to feature my own personal blog as well as posts, poetry, videos, and podcasts from a wide variety of voices from the adoption community.
For those of you who don’t know the story…the words, “You’re my second Mama aren’t you?” were spoken by my son, Brandon, when he was four years old. I learned from Sharon Roszia — world renowned adoption expert, author, consultant, and an adoptive mother herself — that adopted children have a significant and uncanny realization when they are four years old. No matter how or where they were relinquished, or how happy their present life is, four-year-olds have the cognitive ability to understand that at the other end of the “happy story” of being chosen by a new family, is another personal story that is full of grief and loss.
His question about my being his second mother was his way of asking me to tell him more of “his story,” and also started the beginning of an intense grieving process he needed to work through. His twin brother Jaik chose not to discuss his adoption thoughts and feelings — and this is not changed even today. Their younger sister Stacee had her own personal reaction to adoption, and has handled her grief and loss in her own way.
My blog about my family’s life experiences with my three children grew out of my volunteer work with the Holt Children’s Services, where I shared my stories of being an adoptive mother with new parents waiting for their adopted children. The blog then blossomed into this wonderful magazine. All along this journey I’ve asked my children’s permission to tell their stories — because they are the stories. Jaik and Stacee, knowing my desire to share these life lessons with others, were fine with my storytelling. Brandon, my more sensitive son who has experienced and expressed every adoption emotion throughout his childhood, had the most reaction. He asked. “Will our stories help other adoptees and their adoptive parents?” When I told him that was the goal, he said, “Then I think that we should do this.”
Publishing this magazine has opened up and changed my view on adoption in the most amazing ways. Sometimes I learned the hard way by getting comments from readers that truly surprised me. Two of my most memorable and eye-opening responses have been…
“It seems to me Jane, that you are simply a white wealthy woman who solved her infertility problems by taking someone else’s children.”
The other statement is in reference to the fact that I adopted my children internationally — which meant that they left not only their birth parents, but also their birth countries.
“What you need to realize Jane, is that you are part of a vast international conspiracy to create crimes against humanity.”
Most times I learned about adoption very creatively from all of my incredible contributors and readers who have taught me that…
- Birth mothers like to be called first mothers, and while some of them are peaceful and happy with their decision, there are many that are angry and still incredibly grief stricken over the loss of their child.
- There are not many dads who write about their adoption experience, but there are some who do so beautifully.
- The world of adoption — particularly in the past — has been full of secrets and lies.
- Open adoption oftentimes mitigates the fear, loss, and anger that comes with adoption, but is not for the faint of heart.
- There are many incredible books, films, and documentaries that capture all aspects of the adoption experience in entertaining and thoughtful ways.
- Adoption can bring up many intense and conflicting emotions, and there are experts who have vast experiences and wise advice for everyone involved.
- Adoptees have many commonalities, but each adoptee has his or her own unique journey and story to tell.
- While there are only seven states that allow adoptees to get into their records, “reunions” of all kinds take place every day.
- And, adoption is enormously controversial. Some people see it as a panacea for the world’s ills, others view it as a pragmatic and loving process of matching children with families, and others feel very strongly that has no place in the world at all.
This Adoption Voices Magazine’s Mission is to Give Everyone a Voice. The magazine gives the adoption community…
- An opportunity to share entertaining, heartfelt, and sometimes tragic experiences through stories and poetry
- A place to find invaluable resources for understanding all aspects of adoption
- A chance to hear from and interact with experts in the field of adoption
–And most importantly–
- A chance to be heard!
This week’s AVM posts are an outstanding example of the diversity of voices, including a heartfelt note from Sharon Roszia who begins an interesting discussion about the roles and responsibilities of social workers.
The magazine has also added a new category titled Difference of Opinion that is designed to give everyone a chance to voice their opinion about an adoption subject.
I am so happy you are either joining me for the first time, or rejoining me on this incredible journey of discovery and learning.
Jane, Publisher and Executive Editor