A Picture Really Is Worth a 1000 Words!
I love photography. I had my children photographed many times and their Aunt Bea is a talented photographer who captured many of our family events.
These two pictures tell the story of adoption.
This first picture of them standing holding the balloons and looking very anxious and apprehensive is often times how adopted children feel. While they may feel very lucky and grateful to be in a loving family, many children spend some time simply waiting for “the other shoe to drop”.
They do this because being relinquished is a defining moment in every adopted child’s life. Many researchers and adoption experts agree that every child knows when his or her birth mother has left.
As you can see from this picture however, when adopted children feel safe, secure and loved, they don’t spend every waking moment wondering what will happen next. Through normal and everyday family life experiences, adopted children do learn to relax and enjoy their new lives.
So much of this depends on the adoptive parent’s willingness to understand this experience from the point of view of their children’s, and not themselves.
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July 21, 2012 at 6:35 pm
All I can say from an Asian International Adoptee’s perspective when I look at this picture it is DEGRADING AND SICK and shows the obvious one side of an adopter’s false illusion of what she thinks they are thinking. As the children become adults she will regret posting this photo! For the TRUTH of what TRUE adoptees perspective are, once they have grown to be adults and developed a mind of their own without being brain washed, join our group on facebook: Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Network. Thanks.
July 22, 2012 at 8:15 pm
I have no idea why you feel the need to use the words you use. I would never assume I know anything about your experience. My children are now young adults, and while I can see that there are many residual feelings and effects of adoption, they are happy, thriving and productive.
I always knew that my children’s relinquishment would be an experience I could only partially understand, but I understood as much as I could, and allowed them to be who they are. It was a pleasure raising them and helping them deal with all of their issues, and become the loving individuals they are.
I know that adoption is a lifelong process, and there are more challenges and emotions to come. I will always be there for them, and they know that. Whatever “truth” they discover, will be their own, and no one else’s.
July 23, 2012 at 6:32 am
Just remember for every ‘forever family’ made in Adoption Land, there is a family forever torn apart. You just have a limited picture of your adoption experience, which is the ‘savior’ complex, minimizing women’s rights in Korea by purchasing their children. Even with Harry Holt (he also had the ‘savior complex’) he took away women’s rights by taking their babies away and transporting them to the U.S. He helped enabled the Korean government to NOT take responsibility of Korean children which SAVED millions in social services costs (making Korea one of the wealthiest countries in the world) and MADE billions for the U.S. adoption industry. Surprising you did not study international adoption prior to purchasing your kids. Here is a fun fact: “A matter of money
The finances involved give a compelling insight. According to the Bureau of Consular Affairs in the United States, adoption service providers charged prospective parents up to $64,357 for processing an intercountry adoption in 2011[11].
Meanwhile, the cost of a month’s rent for a poor but working mother and child in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, is just 25c per month. The total monthly outgoings which would allow a mother and child to stay together as a family unit total $15 per month.” http://libertyandhumanity.com/freelance-writing/Adoption-trade-sets-up-shop-in-Africa
Why not promote women’s rights by supporting the mother and child instead of helping the industry continue to profit in human trafficking for adoption?
I am sure you won’t be brave enough to post this but I will be sure to share this around while waiting to be moderated. When you take photos of your children and assuming they are ‘grateful’ and ‘happy’ and
‘waiting for the ‘other shoe to drop” and putting ‘words’ in their mouths then others who look at these photos can do the same thing to you. I hope you like how it feels.
Sometimes the truth hurts but I am sure you can live through it just like I am sure your kids can live through a lie…..
July 23, 2012 at 9:26 pm
I realize not every adoption story is a happy one. To imply that the many people who have stepped forward to adopt these children are all “would be saviors” is just wrong. Would you prefer these children spend their childhoods in orphanages? Of course it would be better if they could have stayed with their birth families. But that often wasn’t and still isn’t possible. If you figure out a way to change a ingrained culture like Korea’s in this lifetime, great! In the meantime, I love the stories about the many adoption experiences that have worked and even the stories that are filled with the pain and anguish these adoptees feel as they live everyday knowing they were relinquished. For many, they have loving adoptive families who have helped them through this process and will continue to be there for them. Perhaps that didn’t happen for you. For that I am sorry!
July 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm
I have posted many comments like this. It is not courage on my part, the entire point of this magazine is to present all points of view.
Since it is difficult to answer all of the issues you presented. I will simply say a few things.
The first image I saw Harry Holt was on a very old video that showed him on the streets of Seoul after the war literally lifting children out of the gutters. Some of them were alive, some barely alive, and some were already dead. He began his work by building makeshift orphanages to give them food and shelter. The entire country was in chaos, and these Eurasian children were a reminder of everything their culture had been through, and many people were content to leave them in the gutters and the streets. A very good friend of mine was finally relinquish by his Korean mother when he was near death, at one years old. I am so happy someone came to his rescue.
Sometimes international adoption doesn’t begin in such a dramatic way. In China it was the result of the “one child policy”, which caused so many families to relinquish their daughters. Today, adoption continues because of poverty and the plight of many unwed mothers who cannot care from their children, and whose cultures shame them so that they feel they have no option.
I never felt like I was my children’s “savior”, I felt like I was their mother doing the best job I could to raise them and understand that adoption is the most traumatic experience any human being can have. If you read my blogs you’ll see that I don’t speak for my children, but tell stories that allow them to speak for themselves. If you would like to read my daughter’s reflection on adoption please read her post “Winning Life’s Lottery”: http://adoptionvoicesmagazine.com/adoptee-view/winning-the-lottery-of-life/
If you are indeed working on women’s rights issues, I applaud your efforts. I try in a small way to do that as well, serving as a volunteer and executive board member for Girls Incorporated, here in Southern California. The world would indeed be a better place if women had more power and control over their own fate and those of their children.
July 23, 2012 at 5:49 pm
I love this blog post by Rebecca Hawkes : http://www.rebeccahawkes.com/2012/04/confessions-of-double-dipper.html
Gravatar21 isn’t the first person to assume that people who adopt their children aren’t working to support young women and their children. Most of the adoptive parents of Russian children who I know are doing just that. Many are sponsoring children who are living in an orphanage (for years) because their parents are imprisoned but will take back custody when released. A large number are volunteering, donating, or both to organizations that provide education and financial support to young mothers and families in Russia. Gravatar21 wrote “Why not promote women’s rights by supporting the mother and child instead of helping the industry continue to profit in human trafficking for adoption?”. Rebecca Hawkes’ blog post that I linked to above makes a good analogy as to how these two behaviors (minus the trafficking portion, because there’s no evidence that this goes on in Russia) can coincide. She is discussing domestic adoption, but the analogy is appropriate for international adoption as well.
And, Jane, I applaud your efforts to be “brave enough” to post differing opinions using your real name and identity.
July 24, 2012 at 4:34 am
I remember in school learning the ‘one-sided’ Western history as the truth and ‘only way’ things happened, but just because it is the ‘white’ version doesn’t mean it’s the ‘right’ version. Others do not see Harry Holt as such a ‘savior’, but more as a ‘sinner’. It was the ‘white’ soldiers the raped or had sex with the Korean women and did not own up to their responsibilities, probably didn’t even want to let their wives or girlfriends in the United States to know anything about their extra ‘affairs’. They created these Amer-Asian children and then left them. No wonder the Korean ‘male’ half of society did not want to take responsibility of these half-white children. They didn’t create them! A question I had is why if the war is over for 60 plus years are they STILL selling kids? Here is another version of your ‘saintly’ Harry Holt:
http://transracialeyes.com/2011/08/11/a-brief-historical-overview-of-the-life-and-times-of-harry-and-bertha-holt-and-the-origin-of-international-adoption/
A Brief Historical Overview of the Life and Times of Harry and Bertha Holt and the Origin of International Adoption.
August 11, 2011 in Adoptee Roundtable, International Adoption, Transracial Adoption
Tags: Harry and Bertha Holt
The authors of this article has ask me to post it and get some feedback from other readers. They wrote this after reading/diagnosing Bertha Holt’s two memoirs as well as Holt’s book: To My Beloved Baby: Writings from Birth Mothers and We Believe in Miracles (letters from adoptive parents). They also had it looked at by lawyers who found nothing wrong with it and said the authors had every right to write it. What is your opinion of it?
A Brief Historical Overview of the Life and Times of Harry and Bertha Holt and the Origin of International Adoption.
1954-1955 Discovering Amerasian Children
1956 “Having Trouble Finding Little Ones”
1957-1958 “Swamped” with Requests for Children
1959 Counseling More Mothers
1960-1964 “House Slaves?”
For the Love of Children
How are the Mothers Today?
1954-1955: Discovering Amerasian Children
Bertha Marian Holt was born in 1905 to Clifford and Eva Holt. She married Harry Holt, a first cousin (Mark Baker, 2006), on December 31, 1927 and eventually they had six children together. In 1954, Harry and Bertha Holt were convinced that God had sent them on a mission to obtain and raise eight South Korean-born Amerasian (American-Korean or mixed-race) children, in addition to the Holts own. (p. 4 & 8) By Autumn of 1955, hundreds of fellow Americans visited the Holt farm in Oregon each week “begging” for a child. The public’s main interest was to “see what the children look like” since they, too, were considering adoption. (p. 9) There was so much media attention that the Holts continued to receive at least 50 daily letters and applications from every state but two. They used this national interest to publicize their loyalty to Christianity. Due to being evangelists and “born-again” Christians, it was the Holts’ desire and priority to give the Korean-born Amerasian children to Christians only. (p. 12)
The Holts used an inexpensive and efficient procedure called “Adoption by Proxy,” considered (what the Holt’s called) a Christian “triumph” against the United States Government. (p. 12) The wanting Christian couple would give Harry Power of Attorney. He would then represent their desires and obtain the children under Korean law. The children would finally come to the U.S. as sons and daughters belonging to the wanting couples. Determined to fill the demand of numerous letters from wanting adopters, the Holts set up post in Seoul hoping to get their hands on more children. Famous friend and reverend, Billy Graham, dedicated their Reception Center. By Christmas of 1955, the Holts receive “thousands” of letters, including 50 inquiries for children each day for a week. (p. 12)
The Holts mention some minor setbacks in 1955. Many established missionaries in Seoul had already reserved the children for their friends. (p. 12) Also, some Korean mothers wanted to wait for the return of their children’s American fathers instead of agreeing to release their children. Other problems came in the form of letters or crank calls, accusing Harry of bringing home “slant-eyed Orientals” or “slant-eyed monsters.” (p. 13) Harry and Bertha dismissed the issue of racism when it came to the incoming children, not realizing that it existed and that it could become the crux of many issues for the inter-racial adoptee to face, isolated. They also did not recognize that their biological daughter made a racially insensitive remark when she affectionately called a Korean-Black child “monkey-face.” (p. 28)
The biggest upset for adoptees and adoptive parents, when reading Bertha Holt’s book Bring My Sons from Afar published by Holt International Children’s Services, was to learn that the Holt’s had called the children “orphans” even though the Holts had collected the children from mothers and they continue to do so today. According to Bertha memoir, in 1954 Harry Holt (with the help of a Korean liaison or a team of followers) actually “hunted” for Amerasian children and “talked to mothers,” sometimes showing photos of children in the United States, while passing out religious pamphlets. (p. 13) Harry wrote that one mother was almost hysterical when taking her child off her back. (p. 16) She misunderstood Harry’s intention, believing that she would be able to stay in touch with her child. The mother didn’t realize that adoption was, as Harry Holt told Bertha, according to her book, “a clean break and forever.” (p. 13)
1956 “Having Trouble Finding Little Ones”
Harry mentions how a “sobbing” mother unable to speak, was “afraid” to give him her baby and some children were “kicking and screaming.” He attempted to comfort the mothers by preaching to them his Christian beliefs, leading many to believe that they would be rewarded by God for giving away their children. After Holt took the children, he sent them to his compound, labeling and showing them as “orphans” in the West so he could send them overseas via the Orphan Bill, a process that he and his cohorts introduced to Congress. The Orphan Bill gave the impression that the children were parentless. This was a lie. Early on, Harry had set up a non-profit bank account and called it “Orphan Foundation Fund” (p. 18) so he could take tax-deductible donations from fellow Americans to help fund the Holt’s desires. Gifts to this account helped to enlarge what would become their empire.
The American Social Agency “denounced” proxy adoptions “furiously” and the Holts perceived opposition or criticisms as “devilish schemes,” accusing the American agency of printing “propaganda” against overseas adoption. (p. 16) Bertha even complained in her memoir that due to the long governmental process, some Korean mothers took their children back home even though the Holts had already assigned these children to American couples. She believed legislatures were “shameful” for making adoptions so difficult. In Seed from the East, the Holts earnestly prayed for their way, even saying “the devil and all his angels can’t keep them [wanting adopters and Korean-born children] apart.” The Holts depended on proxy adoptions to continue their business.
By the summer of 1956, Harry reported that he was “having trouble finding the little ones”. (p. 27) At this time the Holts had already given 750 wanting Christian couples approval for a child. By fall, the Holts were “deluged” with additional inquiries. (p. 29) In October, Harry made a radical decision to go ahead and assign full Korean children to Caucasian families (instead of only mixed race children) “since the numbers of families wanting children increased far beyond the number of Amerasian children available.” (p. 33) Before Christmas of that same year, they received 300 letters including 96 more inquiries for children. (p. 35)
1957-1958: “Swamped” with Requests for Children
The Holts feared that the U.S. Welfare Agency would make “serious trouble,” (p. 37) which could possibly slow down or halt their business activities. They mailed 6000 cards, advising their followers to write their Senators regarding the “Orphan” Bill. (p. 37) The Holts wholeheartedly believed that they were working God’s will rather than selfishly fulfilling their own stubborn wants. Harry used Samuel 2:8 to affirm his activities:“Surely He raiseth the poor out of the dust and lifteth up the beggar from the dung hill, to set him among princes and to make them inherit the thrown of glory.” (p. 36) He believed that adopted children were “the first fruits of this Christian labor of love.” (p. 39) In contrast, however, the well-being of the Korean families were not considered. The Holts focused solely on giving the children to wanting and waiting couples.
Harry also traveled to Mexico to see if there were “orphans” available (p. 39) but the Mexican authorities were “insulted” when he asked if he could send the children to North Americans (p. 40). Eventually he found a governor who was favorable to the idea. He also traveled to Germany and Austria but was unsuccessful there (p. 40). Upon returning from a worldwide search, he decided to build a compound in Mexico within that year. (p. 41)
During the first few years, the Holts continuously introduced extensions to the Refugee Act and the Orphan Bill. Once during this time, Harry blew up at the U.S. Embassy in Seoul for their delays in issuing proxy adoption visas. (pp. 51-52) Seventy waiting Christian couples had already paid their fees. The Holts mailed 92 letters from people who had already adopted. Only 22 visas were issued on October 22 but on Oct. 31, the Holt team still managed to take 80 Korean children. (pp. 51-52)
The Holt’s “Glad” file (consisting of records showing processed adoptions) expanded to five filing drawers in their home office. (p. 62) When an American newspaper included a photo of an adopted and barefoot Korean boy eating from a paper plate and sitting on the ground of his American home, Harry told Bertha “never let anyone in Korea see the picture.” (p. 72) Ultimately he feared the Koreans would stop allowing the children overseas because the child was pictured barefoot. (In today’s advertising campaign geared to potential parents and financial donors, the children are shown smiling with their new parents. It is also interesting to note that in many cases the wanting couples are led to believe the child belongs to them even prior to obtaining the child. This is the agency’s deceptive way to get the couple emotionally attached prior to receiving the child so that the couple will pay “whatever it takes” to follow through with the adoption. Big bright and beautiful photos of children are shown in Holts marketing campaign, but rarely happy children with their Asian families. Some might consider this type of advertising as propaganda)
The Holt team prepared and mailed 3500 New Year greetings, finding this an effective way to gain a solid following and gain requests for more children. (p. 78) By the end of 1958, the Holts had joyfully sent 1069 Korean children to foreign Christian couples. (pp. 79-80)
1959 Counseling More Mothers!
By winter of 1959, the Holt compound grew to 7000 square feet, including multiple buildings. 50 Koreans had been trained to help and Bertha boasted many American adopters asked for a second child after receiving the first one. The Holts were “flooded” with phone calls and nothing seemed to discourage Bertha–not even an article reporting “bad” adoption cases such as death. (pp. 44, 45, 66, 68) Instead she praised that controversy brought “an avalanche of inquiries” from interested people. (p. 81)
That same winter, the Holts biological daughter wrote that their Korean liaison did a “good job” talking to mothers when they went to the country in search for children. (p. 82) The Holts would introduce themselves, give a reason for the visit, hand out a religious brochure and preach such stories as “Buddha’s bones are still in his grave, but Jesus’ grave is empty.” (p. 87) Sometimes, the team might show photos of smiling Korean children with Caucasian families, and then ask the Korean mother if she had ever thought of letting her child go to America. Molly wrote that the mothers had always admitted to thinking about it. That particular May, Bertha reported that 20 “quietly sobbing” mothers watched their children leave for the states by airplane. (p. 88) Bertha documented how another Korean mother remained calm while signing the paperwork, but “sobbed convulsively” as the Holts pulled away and her child waved good-bye. (p. 88)
Bertha’s accounts at the Holt compound causes us to become disturbed over the amount of children who died in their care. Were the children really orphans? We wonder why the Holts did not suggest for the Korean parents to help wean and tend to their children in their commune. For example, it is mentioned by 1959 that 85 children died. Was this death rate higher than normal? Could the deaths have been prevented if the Korean parents were allowed inside the commune and involved with their children’s care.
At times, it is mentioned that the Holts admitted children to the compound even without acquiring written permission from parents. For instance, they took a child from a grandmother and from the orphanage superintendent based on his fear that the child’s mother would “sell her as a slave” because the child’s father was an African-American. No proof of this fear was ever given and the child was taken into the compound. (p. 89)
The Holts use their evangelical friends to peruse and pursue more children, scouring the country regularly to promote their program in neighboring orphanages and by talking with fellow administrators. Their efforts expanded to any area they could reach. Harry even traveled to Baja California where he hoped to find children who “might be made adoptable” after a flood had hit the town. (p. 100) Instead of looking for extended family members who could provide care, the Holts hurried to devastated or rural areas with plans to immediately send children to waiting couples who had paid the fees.
The Holts wanted to make a clear distinction between them and other agencies. They would maintain that they did not “sell” children but rather provided a “service” of obtaining children for wanting couples. The November Newsletter of 1959 became the Holts first official regular mailer, in which children are continuously called “orphans.” (Today, they are called children “served”) The current news of the day was that the Mexican Government did not allow resident missionaries. The Holts had found a way into the country by working with the “orphans” thereby “preaching” with their actions. At this time the Holts planned to provide care to pregnant women via what they called “unwed” mothers with “illegitimate” children. Their hope was to provide services “through this difficult time” of pregnancy.
In December of 1959, Harry wrote home concerning his idea of sending “our orphans” to Paraguay, a country he believed to be “begging for immigrants” with plans to start a “colony with girls” due to having a friend who owned “several thousand acres.” (p. 101)
1960-1964 “House Slaves”
The Holts found that using fellow Christians to further their program was an effective way to distribute awareness of their work, gain money and expand their practices. January of 1960, the Holts received $7000 in donations from Newsletter recipients and others. (p. 108) In the Fall Newsletter, Bertha wrote her interpretation of Korean culture, spreading false information, generalities, and stereotypes to their readership. One such sweeping statement told by Bertha was that since “orphan girls” were without fathers “no one will want to marry her.” (p. 118) This motivated Mr. Holt to start a “teenage program” for older females where the girls would “work eight hours, cooking, cleaning, serving, helping in the office, or with babies and children, or at various other tasks.” (p. 118) She wrote, “They attend an adult school in the afternoon until 9:00 P.M.” This program, in the eyes of Holts, would prevent the girls from becoming “house slaves.” (p. 118)
That year ended with the Holts sending out 4000 New Year’s Greetings with 2580 Newsletter to their American supporters. (p. 124) In the West, the Holts were hailed as modern-day saints. A made for television movie, several newspaper and magazine articles helped to increase the family’s wealth and boost their reputation.
Summer of 1961, Bertha and children moved to the South Korea to join Harry. (p. 133) Bertha experienced firsthand life at the commune. One day that summer, she mentioned that Harry had “wasted” an entire day waiting for a toddler “whose mother didn’t bring her.” (p. 139) A few days later Bertha reported that the Korean teenagers were becoming more disrespectful, refusing to carry out “orders” and even formed a “self-government,” leading their own. (p. 139) By fall, Bertha complained in her diary that they had even more teenagers who refused to work. She wrote “Now we had 100 teenage girls who were a big headache.” (p. 143)
January of 1963, the Holts held “evangelistic meetings” four nights a week at their compound. One sermon asked whether the listener would go to heaven or hell. (pp. 179-180) Scare tactics? The isolated Korean children were solely under the influence of the Holts and their evangelists. The Holts got licensed to operate an agency in Oregon. By this time they had transported 2734 Korean children overseas. (p. 180) Summer of 1963, the Holts sent out 4000 additional Newsletters to their American supporters. (p. 180)
In 1964, ten years after the Holts first became motivated to visit Korea and take eight Amerasian children for their family and thousands of full-blooded Korean children for fellow Christians, the Holts had finally run out of wanting Christian families. (p. 199) Instead of stopping their activities (that began with the intent to give children to Christians only), they “reluctantly” changed their policy to allow NonChristians to adopt. Bertha ended her book, writing that this change was of great controversy back then and still today. (p. 199) She prayed “even more earnestly that every adopted child would become a born-again Christian.” Harry Holt died April of 1964.
For the Love of Children:
Bertha Holt tirelessly continued adoption work, accumulating at least forty awards in her lifetime. She is so revered and renowned in the West that there is even an elementary school named after her. This tenacious woman passed away August of 2000. Harry and Bertha Holt did not only find new families for children but they changed the laws all over the world to allow children to be dislocated from parents easily and economically. A total of 157,145 South Korean children have been removed from his or her family between 1958 and 2005. For every child, there are several family members who are impinged upon for the rest of their lives. No adoptee that I know of, have been given their parents’ death certificates, proving our status as orphans as claimed by the agencies. The Holts have penetrated their practices into countries all over the world. Holt International’s 2005 Annual Report shows that with the help of their partners, they have “served” 47,942 children just for that year. That same year, it’s interesting to note, Holt International received almost $20 million dollars in revenues and other support. Adoption agencies have already established businesses in one hundred countries. Rather than advocating family counseling, support and resources (which would have made less profit–although they now show an attempt due to being scrutinized), the agencies get paid very well when they send the child overseas. Their non-profit status helps to deceive the public into believing they are providing a service for everyone involved. While it was intended for the adopted children to live utopian lives, how are the parents left behind still coping?
How are the Mothers Today?
The Holt agency has a published book called To my Beloved Baby: Writings of Birth Mothers, which cannot be found in the U.S. Unlike the stereotypical birth mother, these women were not teens, like the public has been led to believe. These mothers believed they had no right to offer their own “inferior” love to their babies. In fact, these modest women assumed that they would receive God’s blessing for releasing their children to the agency as if it was GOD who had arranged for their babies to be placed with a more “admirable” family. Sadly, these mothers assumed their children would come back for them. One mother shared how the doctor, nurse, and birth father tried to reassure her decision to relinquish her rights by reminding her she needed to be “cheery” for when her child returned as an adult. (Mothers, 2005) A false promise? Another 32-year-old mother told of how she cried for days after leaving her baby with Holt. (Mothers, 2005) A 37-year-old mother confided that the pastor had named her son out of the hope that the baby would be a follower of Jesus. (Mothers, 2005) Another mother cried, “Why did you take after your unworthy mother?” (Mothers, 2005) Counseling sessions led her to believe her baby might have an easier life by being adopted abroad, so she chose that route. (Mothers, 2005) These mothers hoped they were doing the “right” thing in conjunction with the agency’s religious beliefs.
Did the birth parents know that they were relinquishing all rights from ever having future contact or a reunion? Did the agency educate them over the long-term ramifications and the impact resulting from sending their child overseas? Were these vulnerable mothers given a pressure-free choice?
Using a belief that God had ordained the Holts (and still does) to move children to “new” and “improved” families, the Holts have radically changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of families and children worldwide and continue to do so. This article is dedicated to all adoptees who have committed suicide, including one of Holt’s adopted sons, Joe (1984), and another Korean-born adoptee (Eric Lew Jones) sent to the infamous Christian cult leader Jim Jones (best known for inducing his 900 followers to drink cyanide-laced Flavor Aid, which led to their death). May these two young men and all families separated by adoption be nurtured by the Great Mother of the Universe.
http://www.holtintl.org/insstats.shtml
Bertha Holt, Bring My Sons From Afar, Holt Children’s Services,
Eugene Oregon, 1986
Writings of Birth Mothers, To My Beloved Baby, Holt Children’s Services, Seoul South Korea, 2005
Mark Baker, The Register Guard, Children Changing Lives,” OregonLife, 2006
http://www.nndb.com/people/026/000031930/Harry and Bertha Holt, International Adoption, Holt International Children’s services
The corruption of human trafficking for adoption that is going on in China is horrendous! The agencies are using the ‘one-child policy’ to be able to kidnap these Chinese babies and sale them to Westerners. The parents are not killing or drowning them as you may be led to believe (this is propaganda).
http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=4774224
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-18778056
http://articles.latimes.com/2009/sep/20/world/fg-china-adopt20
For others who are interested in learning the truth of Human Trafficking for adoption globally read this blog.
http://thesearchformothermissing.blogspot.com/
Thanks for raising awareness on adoption and thanks for posting my comments. You never know, possibly your children (when they become 40 years old or sooner) could be raising ‘awareness’ similar to how I am. Hopefully you will still be able to ‘accept’ him/her. Pictures of children who ‘advertise’ messages, who are old enough to be fully aware of or cannot speak for themselves is the reason why I said your photos are dehumanizing and degrading. I hope they will not hold this against you!
July 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm
You are certainly correct that there is often only one point of view in history. I was a history major, 45 years ago, and when I tried to diversify my classes I took one of the first, Black History courses, taught by a white man! I learned a great deal, though.
The plight of women and children during war is a story as old as time, and almost always tragic. Do you remember the 1950s movie, The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit with Gregory Peck? I don’t remember all the details, but he was a man forced to deal with the woman and child, he left behind in Korea. I need to see if I can find that again.
I know there are people who are not fans of Harry Holt. I would never use the word “sell” in conjunction with Holt, we paid very modest fees to them 25 years ago, and all of us were charged on a sliding scale, depending on what we could afford.
As to why my children were relinquished so many years after the war, I don’t know. My boys parents were married and had two other boys. What unhappy circumstance caused these parents to relinquish my twin boys, I have no idea. My daughter’s mother was unwed and a factory worker. I’m going to assume, given what I know about Korean culture and its intolerance for single motherhood, that she felt a great deal of pressure to relinquish Stacee. Again, I don’t know.
I find it so fascinating that I have extended conversations with people who have very different experiences and opinions about adoption, and yet I have yet to hear from anyone whose life was literally saved by Harry. That would make an interesting story.
July 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm
First of all, can I just say that these are the sweetest pictures! What precious twin boys you have, Jane. I am just fascinated by the concept of twins and I think it is really spectacular that your boys had each other to go through the entire adoption experience with.
The thing I really appreciate about this magazine is the acceptance of the idea that everyone has their own perspectives about adoption and that all of those opinions are respected and allowed their voice. Adoption is such a deeply personal experience and each individual’s convictions about the topic are so deeply rooted in their very being. To air opposing views and express different opinions — these are important conversations to have.
On the topic of adoptive parents as “saviors,” I think the thing often forgotten is the context of culture. As a Korean adoptee who has gone back to live in Korea and reunited with her birth family, I can tell you this: blood runs so deep in Asian culture. Those roots are the end-all. I will never understand how my birth parents reject my brother’s girlfriends based solely on their family heritage, how their parents make their living, or what university they went to. Coming from a country like the U.S. where the “American dream” is revered and our most respected stories are those of individuals who pull themselves by their own bootstraps from humble beginnings, I have great difficulty understanding a place where people are judged only by their ancestral lineage and not allowed the opportunity to “make their own luck,” as they say. My own brother, a talented IT guy with a love for computers, will spend his working life as a locksmith simply because he must inherit the family business as his responsibility as eldest son. In Korea, many opportunities are largely dictated by heritage because you ARE your family.
With that in mind, a big issue with domestic Korean adoptions is the fact that many Korean families, shaped by their culture, really cannot fathom the thought of accepting someone into their home and family who is not their own flesh and blood. They cannot begin to understand how a mother could choose to give up her child — it is so unthinkable and utterly shameful. I have touched on this topic in my blog post, “A Letter to My Foster Mother.” http://whcasey.blogspot.com/2012/04/meeting-my-korean-family-has-caused-me.html#comment-form
I think we can all agree that in an ideal world, all children would be allowed the opportunity to be raised in their birth homes. However, since this world is far from perfect, I am grateful for those few Korean families who are able to put cultural stigmas aside and take in of those parentless children. For those children who aren’t taken in to Korean homes, I am forever thankful for wonderful international adoptive adoptive parents like you, Jane, and my own American adoptive parents, who open their hearts and homes.
Do all adoptive parents have the right motive? Definitely not. For that reason I am a huge advocate of adoption counseling. But neither do I think that condescending tone or sarcastic labels like “savior” are necessarily helpful or conducive to productive, meaningful conversations on adoption, no matter how different our opinions may be.
August 4, 2012 at 6:20 am
http://www.originscanada.org/infant.pdf Read this: “Infant Adoption is Big Business in America: Adoption is perceived by society as primarily an altruistic act where a child is rescued from a dreadful fate. The child’s mother is portrayed as not wanting her child and the child’s father as usually being nonexistent. The adopting parents are mythically portrayed as saint-like rescuers who provide a “happily ever after.” In reality, birthparents anguish over the loss of their children, adoptive families are just as dysfunctional as natural families, and adoption is a huge, profit-driven industry where babies are the commodity. As it is currently practiced in America, infant adoption by non-relatives does more to meet the needs of affluent adopters then to help children.” by Darlene Getrow Continue to take the children from the poor unwed mothers and give to the rich older parents. It is a sickening business and the adopters are very blind and egocentric. The adoption fairytale is a myth and is driving huge profits to a multi-billion dollar indu$try (which they are very happy about). It is oozing brainwashing and propaganda. Believe me, the CEOs don’t care, they are busy living a lifestyle of the rich in their multimillion dollar homes with their million dollar income. THEY HAVE TO SALE KIDS!
August 5, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Adoption is a complex topic that involves many people’s lives, how they live, where they live, the decisions they make, the consequences of those decisions and the very real needs of the children.
Adoption practices are impacted by the country, its government, the culture, the prevailing beliefs about what is best for the children, unwed mothers and families, the health of the population, and its overall prosperity.
This creates a rich dynamic process that is not easily labeled, explained or judged. To create oversimplistic statements about it all, does not do the topic justice. If you read all of the individual stories on the site, and others, it is impossible to create one picture of adoption.
It is an ever evolving process however, and reflection of the times. That’s what I want this magazine to represent, individual stories, based on real experience, real suggestions for much-needed reforms and respect for everyone’s experience, so that we can all learn something about this complex process.
Jane